My work/life situation in Bandung is much different compared to other times in my life. I actually work with most of my close friends, five days a week. Then I hang out with them on weekday nights, at the pub, having a beer and some dinner. And then we hang out again on Friday and/or Saturday night. Most of us even live in the same neighborhood, on the same street! So whereas in the past, there’s been a divide between my work- and non-work friends, at this point they are inextricably linked.
It’s like we’re living in some reality show for English teachers. The Real World Bandung. Big Brother West Java. Who will get kicked out of the house next? 
It’s not that bad yet, but constantly seeing the same people, living and working with them, does create some drama. Sometimes I get tired of it: constant gossiping, talking behind others’ backs, deciding who we like or don’t like, running into people who we can’t stand for various reasons. Add alcohol to the mix, and sometimes situations can flare up uncomfortably. It’s like a tinderbox, a powder keg.
There seem to be a fair amount of “girlfriend” problems lately too. Thankfully I have Denise, but somehow I get caught up in my friends’ drama anyway, giving advice and lending an ear.
That’s not why I came to Indonesia, to hang out with the same people over and over again, and get embroiled in petty displays of drama. I came here to learn more about other cultures, expand my knowledge, and work on my own projects. Lately I’ve been avoiding some of our favorite haunts, trying to refocus, relax, and spend more time on things that are truly important.
The fasting month of Ramadan starts on Monday. Although I’ve been dreading it a bit (difficult to find food during the day, pubs and pool halls closed, restricted fun outlets)… in a way perhaps it came just in time. Like rain falling on burning fields. Whoops, that was overly dramatic.
7 responses so far ↓
1 Andy // Sep 2, 2008 at 5:47 am
I’ve got some good books you could read if you want…
Maybe you could just sort of type up a 10-12 page report on them and send the report to me before December 15th?
2 Billy // Sep 2, 2008 at 9:04 am
Ha HAAAA!! Nice try brother. I don’t miss homework one bit.
3 Jonas // Sep 3, 2008 at 1:05 am
I hear you loud and clear. I’ve had a fair bit of friend drama in my life lately. Being caught in the middle trying to help and then being blamed is not fun. Hence my even more infrequent social outings. Sunday drinks up the hill?
4 Bill V. // Sep 3, 2008 at 6:07 pm
I encourage you to make friends outside this network which seems to be inwardly focused, and somewhat culturally insensitive.
Find an expat with long-term experience in Indonesia, or an Indonesian with long-term experience with expats.
Indonesia has a beautiful culture. I just hope the “hubris” doesn’t block your view.
5 Miguel // Sep 5, 2008 at 1:39 pm
COME BACK HOME!!!!!! That’s all I have to say.
I miss ya man, there’s no one on this side of the globe quite like you and sometimes it just SUCKS not having you and Denise around. I feel that way today as a matter of fact so it was endearing to read your latest post;)
6 Billy // Sep 5, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Hi guys, thanks for the good advice and kind words. Things are feeling a bit better now. Jonas, I promise we’ll make it up there soon.
7 Cyntha Johnson // Sep 6, 2008 at 4:20 pm
I hear EXACTLY what you are saying! As a new teacher, I am witnessing the same “glomming” of English teachers with the other other English teachers - and one teacher lives about 30 feet from our apt, while the others are on the same couple of streets next to the school.
Mike and I are purposefully keeping some distance so that we don’t fall into what you are describing. Plus, how in the heck can I improve my Spanish by hanging out with gringos?
It’s funny. Guaymas has about 100,000 people. Last night we were standing on one of the main streets, talking to a guy who owns an internet cafe, and THREE of the English teachers found us after going to our apt. Now I could see this happening in Duvall (pop. 7,000+), but in Guaymas??? ¡CARAMBA!
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